To Whom It May Concern:
Lately the word “control” and the act of it, has been my worst enemy and best friend. Its dual role in my life has left me confused and struggling with when to turn it off and when to turn it on. Case in point, my mentors, sponsors and biggest supporters at work have been congratulating me on how well I’ve taken “control” of my career all the while urging me to continue to take control as a climb the infamous corporate ladder. While at the same time, the love of my life affectionately yet seriously tells me to stop trying to “control” everything and let him lead at times. I never thought I would have to balance control, heck I’m just really learning how to be in it. How do I streamline my “control” when I’m praised for it in one world and criticized for it in another? This power struggle has left me wondering, how do I lose control?
Well T.D. Jakes answered it best for me in the June issue of Essence Magazine. He simply said “Let go and Let God” reminding me who really is in “control” of my life. He further explained that control itself can be an illusion and the need to have it is an act of fear. Fear of being disappointed and the fear of letting go. Although I must admit being in control gives me a sense of power and the comfort of knowing things will go my way (both feelings I enjoy), he was right, my control was about fear, the fear of not meeting my own expectations.
As a woman with high expectations of her self, the one thing I feared was failure. So prior to reading T.D. Jakes’ words of wisdom, losing control used to mean losing myself.
I believed not being in control meant I was setting myself up for dissapointment and ultimately failure. I now know that I don’t always have to be in control to get the results I want. And more importantly losing control is not about losing at all, it’s about gaining - trust, faith and the power to let go.
P.S. Write me back below.
Fabulously yours,
Rashana Hooks
Lately the word “control” and the act of it, has been my worst enemy and best friend. Its dual role in my life has left me confused and struggling with when to turn it off and when to turn it on. Case in point, my mentors, sponsors and biggest supporters at work have been congratulating me on how well I’ve taken “control” of my career all the while urging me to continue to take control as a climb the infamous corporate ladder. While at the same time, the love of my life affectionately yet seriously tells me to stop trying to “control” everything and let him lead at times. I never thought I would have to balance control, heck I’m just really learning how to be in it. How do I streamline my “control” when I’m praised for it in one world and criticized for it in another? This power struggle has left me wondering, how do I lose control?
Well T.D. Jakes answered it best for me in the June issue of Essence Magazine. He simply said “Let go and Let God” reminding me who really is in “control” of my life. He further explained that control itself can be an illusion and the need to have it is an act of fear. Fear of being disappointed and the fear of letting go. Although I must admit being in control gives me a sense of power and the comfort of knowing things will go my way (both feelings I enjoy), he was right, my control was about fear, the fear of not meeting my own expectations.
As a woman with high expectations of her self, the one thing I feared was failure. So prior to reading T.D. Jakes’ words of wisdom, losing control used to mean losing myself.
I believed not being in control meant I was setting myself up for dissapointment and ultimately failure. I now know that I don’t always have to be in control to get the results I want. And more importantly losing control is not about losing at all, it’s about gaining - trust, faith and the power to let go.
P.S. Write me back below.
Fabulously yours,
Rashana Hooks
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