Pregnant Pause

To Whom It May Concern:

Sometimes I wish I would have had a baby when I was young, dumb and thought love is all you needed to get by. You know, before you grow up and realize that it takes money, time and maturity to raise a family. As a thirty year old woman, I can’t help but to wonder when will I ever be totally ready to start a family. I definitely want children (specifically two, a boy and a girl) and I understand that you will never be 100% ready, but I can’t seem to get over the reality of motherhood and all the sacrifices it brings. With my laundry list of goals to accomplish I wonder if while I’m striving to be successful so my children can have a better life am I creating a “pregnant pause” around what it takes to really raise a family?

This weekend I attended a baby shower of a young girl. At twenty-one she gathered all of her family and friends to celebrate the birth of her first child. Unmarried but clearly in awe of the baby’s father, this young girl had the face of innocence and no clue how different her life would be after next month. It wasn’t just her innocence that broke my heart it was all of her girlfriends that she invited who were already mothers or soon to be. At not even the legal drinking age of twenty one these girls were far ahead in the game than me. (Side note – I could never imagine having children and not being able to legally drink. A glass of Pinot Grigio is mandatory after dealing with some unruly kids). They naively thought that birthing a child from their at the moment boyfriends was actually cute and made them special. They believe that a boy nineteen years of age is seriously thinking about settling down and raising a family with them. I couldn’t help but wonder where was their self-esteem? Where were the role models to show these young women that there is more to life than what they see right now? After running these questions through my head I realized that the reality was these young girls were misinformed by their immaturity and innocence. They couldn’t possibly know how hard it is to raise a child when they still have their parents to take care of them, when the only work they have to do is home work and the only love they know is their first. But as disappointing as it is, ignorance is bliss and minus all the self-esteem issues I can't help but to secretly wish I still had the innocence of the unknown, especially when your biological clock is ticking and you don’t even have a watch…


P.S. Write me back below.

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks