To Whom It May Concern:
If I have learned two lessons in life, it would be to never judge a book by its cover and never judge a woman by her lover.
The first lesson is pretty obvious, we shouldn’t judge people, places or things by their outer appearance but the latter lesson is a bit tricky. You see whether we want to admit it or not we ladies have a bad habit of presuming what kind of man a woman has or should have. For example, when we meet a well together woman (note – educated, beautiful, all around successful) we automatically equate her mate to be the same. Rightfully so it’s normal to assume a woman of that caliber would have a partner who mirrors her image and status, but don’t be fooled into believing that this is the case all the time because surprisingly so it’s not.
I can be the first to admit that I once assumed what kind of man a woman would have. While I’m sure I’ve been presumed by other women as well. Heck I’ve even been told that I look like someone that should be married to a basketball or football player – really? I still wonder what gives that impression. Is it my clothes, car, shoes?? Anyway, this all just proves that when you assume you make a you know what out of yourself. Because when it comes to matters of the heart image goes out of the window. Women love who they love and that’s that. She may be corporate and he is a bit on the thuggish side, she may be black and he is white, she may be tall and he may be short, or she may be what the world deems average and her man is a GQ model. It doesn’t matter what the outward appearance dictates, all that matters is the love and respect that is shared between a man and woman. So the next time you find yourself “imagining” the mate of woman, be sure not to judge her in the process.
Fabulously yours,
Rashana A. Hooks
If I have learned two lessons in life, it would be to never judge a book by its cover and never judge a woman by her lover.
The first lesson is pretty obvious, we shouldn’t judge people, places or things by their outer appearance but the latter lesson is a bit tricky. You see whether we want to admit it or not we ladies have a bad habit of presuming what kind of man a woman has or should have. For example, when we meet a well together woman (note – educated, beautiful, all around successful) we automatically equate her mate to be the same. Rightfully so it’s normal to assume a woman of that caliber would have a partner who mirrors her image and status, but don’t be fooled into believing that this is the case all the time because surprisingly so it’s not.
I can be the first to admit that I once assumed what kind of man a woman would have. While I’m sure I’ve been presumed by other women as well. Heck I’ve even been told that I look like someone that should be married to a basketball or football player – really? I still wonder what gives that impression. Is it my clothes, car, shoes?? Anyway, this all just proves that when you assume you make a you know what out of yourself. Because when it comes to matters of the heart image goes out of the window. Women love who they love and that’s that. She may be corporate and he is a bit on the thuggish side, she may be black and he is white, she may be tall and he may be short, or she may be what the world deems average and her man is a GQ model. It doesn’t matter what the outward appearance dictates, all that matters is the love and respect that is shared between a man and woman. So the next time you find yourself “imagining” the mate of woman, be sure not to judge her in the process.
Fabulously yours,
Rashana A. Hooks
2 comments:
It's beyond presumptuous to say that an actor should be paired with an actress. My girl's str8 local, me - I tour the atlas. Now we go around the world hustling ratchets, get along well, but we tussle on the mattress ;)
Rashana, this makes all the sense in the world. It goes along with the other "must do's" in life like, one must all say please and thank you, one must be grateful for every circumstance, etc. However, this must here may be the the most difficult to do. C'mon, we've all meet an incredibly good looking man and when you take a look at his mate, you're left thinking she must be one heck of a cook and a killer in the bedroom, because she is lacking in the outer appearance dept. It's so hard to not set the expectation that the good looking and smart person will be balanced out by the same kind of partner. Sadly, that's what we humans do. We try to "match" things/people together. Like a pair of socks, but different! :) This topic is one I still struggle with all of the time, but I'm working on it!
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