In the Spirit of Sisterhood - A Belle ‘La ‘La’ La Extravaganza

To Whom It May Concern:

T’is the season to be sexy, sophisticated and successful! And all three went down at the uber-fab 1st Annual A Belle in Brooklyn Holiday Party I attended this week hosted by the lovely Demetria Lucas author of the popular dating, sex and relationships site http://www.abelleinbrooklyn.com/

The fabulous event took place at Japonais NYC (http://www.japonaisnewyork.com/) located in downtown Manhattan where the décor and delicacies where as elegant as the women attending. And just as any classy host would, Ms. Belle began the thread of sisterhood as she greeted every woman at the entrance with a welcome and warm smile. The theme of sisterhood continued throughout the night as women from all walks of life were able to come together to mix, mingle and be empowered by each other.

In continuing the spirit of sisterhood I wanted to use this post as a thank you to Ms. Belle for hosting an extraordinary event of cocktails and conversation and to encourage us all this holiday season to not only be in the spirit of giving but to continue the spirit of sisterhood.

TWIMC wishes you Happy Holidays and a Fabulous New Year!

P.S. If you haven’t done so already check out A Belle in Brooklyn @ http://www.abelleinbrooklyn.com/

Fabulously yours,

Rashana A. Hooks

Deal Breaker

To Whom It May Concern:

When it comes to matters of the heart and selecting men, we women have a tendency of being very very picky. Of course there is nothing wrong with being selective and having standards, but sometimes we can go a little overboard with it and miss the opportunity of meeting a great guy. However, there’s a flip side to that. Even though our mandates may be a bit frivolous at times there are some things that are absolute deal breakers. These are the “challenges” you absolutely should not, would not and could not entertain regardless of all the other attractive “trimmings”.

Since deal breakers vary from person to person I’m interested in knowing if there are any common ones out there. Let me know what your ultimate deal breaker is. It doesn’t matter how small or shallow it may seem, share it and let’s discuss.

P.S. The first deal breaker I thought of for me is not having a car. My train days ended when my twenties did! (BTW – I have a car of my own)



Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

"Good Hair" is Groomed Hair

To Whom It May Concern:

Like many other girlfriends in the world, my BFF’s and I went to see Chris Rock’s docu-comedy “Good Hair” this weekend. Between the laughs and the “oh no he didn’t 's” I actually walked away with some profound insight on why women put so much emphasis on “their” hair, thanks mainly to Al Sharpton. But aside from the fabulous weaves worn by Nia Long and other start studded celebrities there are many average everyday women paying a lot of money for hair and not keeping it “good” as such.

Although I’ve never been one to wear weaves, wigs or the like I always get my hair done. I’m a professional wash and set lady who gets her deep conditioners and wraps weekly so I totally understand the beauty factor behind getting your hair done, however what I don’t understand is why I see so many disheveled weave wearers. I’ve seen tracks, wrong textures, things that resemble squirrels, Pocahontas and a few others things I would prefer not to mention. And after watching Chris’s movie this past weekend I realized that these mishaps are all for the love of “good hair”. This so called “unbeweavable” experience has caused some of us to look like a plain ole hot mess. So my point today is know matter what style you choose to wear your hair - weave or all natural, remember Good Hair is Groomed Hair. Keep it tight!


Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

Teeth or Dare

To Whom It May Concern:

Why is it so hard for some women to tell each other they have something on their teeth? This question reminded me of a couple of years ago when I was working in PR and I had the chance to talk with PR guru Terrie Williams in a car ride from Harlem to midtown. During the ride Terrie asked me the strangest question – “Would you tell me if I had lipstick on my teeth”. Caught off guard I embarrassingly said no. She laughed and replied “I don’t know why people do that…what’s so hard with telling someone they have something on their teeth.” I can’t remember exactly what her theory was on the reason why people do this, but this past week I’ve been searching for the answer.

Since I’ve been trying to eat “healthy” for my upcoming vacation and an overall lifestyle change I have been substituting green veggies for my love of French fries. But of course there is a consequence to eating healthy foods like broccoli and spinach – and that’s the not so attractive leftovers they leave in between your teeth. Yes, the annoying green strings that linger in those hard to reach places front and center of your Kodak smile.
Being a victim of the green monster during a lengthy conversation with a familiar female co-worker left me wondering why she hadn’t told me I had something in between my teeth. I get the fact that it can be some what uncomfortable to tell someone they have something ugly going on in their mouth. But are we that selfish to risk our own embarrassment to allow someone else’s? All of this made me think even further than what may be in our mouths. I began to wonder do we do the same thing when we are asked “How does this look? “Does this match?” “Does this look bad?” Do we all really tell the truth even when we know it will hurt? Or do we again selfishly run from the truth to ease our own discomfort?

Well ever since that car ride with Terrie Williams five years ago, I vowed to always tell a woman when she had a temporary flaw if she was talking to me or if she asked. Because the truth is my so called perceived embarrassment is just that - perceived. It’s not that bad ladies let’s do it more often.


Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

Pregnant Pause

To Whom It May Concern:

Sometimes I wish I would have had a baby when I was young, dumb and thought love is all you needed to get by. You know, before you grow up and realize that it takes money, time and maturity to raise a family. As a thirty year old woman, I can’t help but to wonder when will I ever be totally ready to start a family. I definitely want children (specifically two, a boy and a girl) and I understand that you will never be 100% ready, but I can’t seem to get over the reality of motherhood and all the sacrifices it brings. With my laundry list of goals to accomplish I wonder if while I’m striving to be successful so my children can have a better life am I creating a “pregnant pause” around what it takes to really raise a family?

This weekend I attended a baby shower of a young girl. At twenty-one she gathered all of her family and friends to celebrate the birth of her first child. Unmarried but clearly in awe of the baby’s father, this young girl had the face of innocence and no clue how different her life would be after next month. It wasn’t just her innocence that broke my heart it was all of her girlfriends that she invited who were already mothers or soon to be. At not even the legal drinking age of twenty one these girls were far ahead in the game than me. (Side note – I could never imagine having children and not being able to legally drink. A glass of Pinot Grigio is mandatory after dealing with some unruly kids). They naively thought that birthing a child from their at the moment boyfriends was actually cute and made them special. They believe that a boy nineteen years of age is seriously thinking about settling down and raising a family with them. I couldn’t help but wonder where was their self-esteem? Where were the role models to show these young women that there is more to life than what they see right now? After running these questions through my head I realized that the reality was these young girls were misinformed by their immaturity and innocence. They couldn’t possibly know how hard it is to raise a child when they still have their parents to take care of them, when the only work they have to do is home work and the only love they know is their first. But as disappointing as it is, ignorance is bliss and minus all the self-esteem issues I can't help but to secretly wish I still had the innocence of the unknown, especially when your biological clock is ticking and you don’t even have a watch…


P.S. Write me back below.

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

A little bit of a LOT...I'm back (again)

Photo by: Joulmi

To Whom It May Concern:

Ok, Ok!! I know I did it again and left you S.T.A.M.P.S. waiting way too long for a letter. But trust me I have a semi-good excuse! Last month I turned 3-0! Yes the big 30. Since this birthday was such a big deal you know I had to do it BIG. I planned two parties (the Gemini in me) and created a campaign affectionately titled “30 days of 30” where I celebrated my birthday every day in June with my fabulous friends! Between planning both parties, preparing myself mentally for this new chapter in my life and keeping up with my deadlines at Clutch magazine my world has been hectic. But nonetheless, I’m back to normal now and ready to give you more of the new me. For starters, I must apologize for leaving you high and dry on the commentary of Steve Harvey’s book. If it makes you feel any better I didn’t even finish it because of all the festivities I had going on. I’m planning to re-visit it soon but at the moment I’m engrossed in the new book deliciously titled Appetite by fab author and dear friend of mine Erika J. Kendrick (Thanks for the advanced copy E). It’s definitely the perfect summer read. I’ve got so many topics to share and things to catch you all up on so stay tuned (and subscribe). To Whom It May Concern is back and better than ever!


P.S. Write me back below.

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man – Part 1

To Whom It May Concern:

Last week I decided to purchase Steve Harvey’s highly acclaimed book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man (shout out to the fab co-author Denene Millner). Despite the rave reviews from Oprah to Essence and how much I love Steve I wasn’t going to buy the book simply because I felt like I knew everything about men. I’ve dealt with the best of them and as a self-proclaimed “realistic relationship expert” I was positive his advice just reiterated what I tell my girlfriends and all the other countless women who listen to me and read my articles. My cousin, who had purchased the book when it first hit the book shelves agreed with me but simply said “it just sounds better coming from a man”. So needless to say I got over my high horse and curiosity killed the cat.

So far I’ve read the first three chapters and it’s good! And although what I read so far comes to me as no surprise, Steve really does lay the facts women need to know in a way no woman could have. He gives it straight with no chaser just the way I like it!
However, I’ve decided to season Steve’s momentum with some of my spices and share with you ladies my personal commentary on the book as I read it. I know you like to hear the truth from a man but you also need to hear it further from a woman who acts like a lady and thinks like a man…..


P.S. If you have not bought the book, I suggest you do so. Not only to participate and comment, but because it is really good!

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks